Saturday, May 9, 2009

Bleeding Rock


Sunday Scribblings - 162 - Healing.  This song was written almost 14 years ago.  My soul was on the mend after my father committed suicide May 6, 1995.  I got the call as I was setting up for a gig in Dallas, TX.  I wrote the song about 5 months later as I was trying get something, anything, out.  I regret I do not have a recording to share with you.  I had a demo recording, but I can't seem to find the copy.  I may record it still.   It's a mid tempo acoustic blues in a drop D tuning and slide guitar accompaniment.  The bleeding rock is a play on familiar metaphors.  I was feeling like I had a heart of stone.  It's been said that you can't get blood from a stone.  I was screaming on the inside to try to live and love again.  To try to quell the anger that was consuming me.  This song was a regular part of my acoustic repertoire for years.  The message was not obvious to the listener, but it was extremely cathartic to me.

Overnight my heart was cast to stone
A man had tumbled down the walls of home
He won’t be asking why I choose my streams
He’ll always haunt me, living in my dreams
I walk alone with the family jewels
There’s only me to write the golden rules
I thought this heart of mine won’t give a drop
I squeeze this bleeding rock of all it’s got

A bleeding rock is good for throwing stones
Breaking windows in glass homes
Making good on Shylock loans
And rocking rolling stones

This rock is where I call my home
Where my dog can bury her bone
A bleeding rock will float on seas
And soar upon the summer breeze
They say a mans heart must freeze 
In times of pain and suffering 
But my heart’s flowing with the tears
This bleeding rock was dry for years

A bleeding rock is good for throwing stones
Breaking windows in glass homes
Making good on Shylock loans
And rocking rolling stones


17 comments:

  1. love the guitar. heart felt lyrics.

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  2. woweeeeee!!!

    Happy SS

    http://2short2sweet.blogspot.com/2009/05/time-heals-no-wounds.html

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  3. Music is so cathartic and you created your own to help with the healing.

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  4. Good post and enjoyed the music, would love to hear you sing it. Following our creative urges in such a heart felt way is cathartic.

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  5. Michael: Thanks for posting this. I like the progression from "cast to stone" to "heart's flowing," and the odd notion of rock floating and soaring. Glad you found (are finding) the way through in this song and in your life. I don't mean to suggest that all is done, tied up and dandy. For a man of your depth, and as a father yourself, I suspect you carry your father in your own cavern.

    My father was murdered ten years before your father's death. Not a man I knew beyond my sixth year, but I certainly was haunted by that absence through the years. One vector in my novel Scarred Angels was my own emotional search for his inner landscapes, through the story and characters that unfolded. The writing loosed the haunting.

    Your image reminded me first of the image of the ten of swords in the Tarot deck, which is the Lord of Ruin. But, in truth, you give us the Ace of Swords. Quick search, I ran across this for the Ace: "Often the ace of swords Tarot card deals with gaining clarity in our lives after a long bout of disillusionment. Often this card appears in matters of love when the ties need to be cut in a relationship. This is particularly the case in one-sided relationships where the partner requires (excessively so) more of attention than you." I trust that, through song and life and fathering, your own father no longer requires "excessively so" your heart.

    Best wishes to you.

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  6. I'd like to hear it.

    Nothing like grief, in all its phases, to loose the creative muse.

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  7. love the words and the song is pretty rockin!! i love how these sad moments can be tribute to creation so beautiful.

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  8. I can’t imagine. Dealing with my dad’s downhill slide’s bad enough. Can’t imagine a phone call, the sudden lurch, the what? in the middle of business as usual. No, no. It’s all tough stuff. Love the lyrics as usual, music man, and if I had any power at all, I’d will you to record it, to set the catharsis in stone, to bless us all with the full throttle bleeding revelation : )
    missalister

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  9. Jennifer - Thank you! Glad you could stop in.

    AD - Thankeeeeeee!!! : )

    RR - My music has always been the conerstone of my sanity. A place I could always go and feel secure. It is a gift to be sure.

    Linda - I haven't thought about this song in a long while. I wouldn't mind taking a fresh approach to arranging and recording.

    Paschal - It sounds like you have a tragic hole you carry as well. After my son was born I went into an emotional tailspin. I never saw it coming. But contemplating my future as a father and a male role model seemed to open old wounds. Is your novel in print? I would like to read it. Interesting read into the Tarot deck. Unintended, but perhaps not so coincidental? My father's attention always weighed heavy on me. I imagined the impaled rock that Arthur pulled Excalibur from. I can't give proper credit to the image, but it came up in a Photobucket search. Peace to you, brother.

    June - Creative outlets allow us to express in ways we can neither speak in words or contain in an emotional sense.

    Floreta - Thanks. The music playing is an improvisation of "Stormy Monday". It is the blues, as is "Bleeding Rock", and emotionally fitting still.

    Miss Alister - Some things in life read like a diner menu. Other's are like an iron skillet to the back of the head. Keep on willing, and I just might do it. It's only time and energy. I've got plenty of that to spare. lol! Full throttle bleeding revelation? I better bring it in spades then! : )

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  10. Thanks Michael for sharing this. THe title is so befitting. I could feel the emotions while reading it.
    If I may say so, it is so beautifully tragic creation. Which came out of wounded heart, soul and so much more.

    And it is somehow healing too..

    cat story

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  11. Many of the images in this poem draw me deeper into the piece. Well done - a fine creation.

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  12. Very interesting....Very imaginative.
    The things grief can do....

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  13. Very deep poem. Love the music.

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  14. Gautami - Yes, you may! Paschal apologized for suggesting things were wrapped up and tidy, but there is some truth to that. It's like finding a place on a memory shelf, somehow contained in a way you can address it or set it aside. It's sometimes human nature to suppress traumatic happenings. I am a firm believer in "that which does not kill us makes us stronger".

    Tumblewords - Coming from a painter of watercolor words your comment is a great compliment. Thank you.

    Nairobi - It certainly pushes us to our limits and defines our capacity, doesn't it?

    Jeeves - Great compliments from the man who knows the depths of silence and speaks in the human common denominator. Thanks!

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  15. I too, hope you record this - very raw. There have been a few times when I have been so twisted up inside that the only thing to do was get in the car, put on a sad song, and drive and cry til I could breathe again. This would be one of those songs...

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  16. Making my way thru older posts...I always am amazed at how artists, such as yourself, can capture a moment with incredible words, color, sound, texture...and so many of us can relate...it draws us in like a magical magnet. It take bravery to share the pain. Thank you.
    Lana C.

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  17. Lana - Not too many take the time to visit old posts, so for that I'm humbled and grateful. I would agree that it takes bravery to share deeply personal and painful moments. It is something that I always recognize in what I admire most about artists. When you see someone performing something you know is real, it is the moment a performer makes the strongest connection with the audience. And everyone is aware and in the moment. That is what performance art is all about. Thank you!

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